I feel like there’s a lack of date games. Don’t get me wrong, there are massive, if not monstrous numbers of dating games. These are games all about picking a partner and figuring out what they like and courtship, however. What I haven’t played before is a game about the act of actually going on a date, about the nervousness and the decisions to try to make every element of that date go well. Maybe it’s the biases in my own library, or maybe a game like that exists somewhere in the “love” section of my library, but I hadn’t run across a game that felt like it really fulfilled that fundamental act of going on a date.

I still haven’t. A Date in the Park is not a game about going on a date. I just wanted to muse on the lack of games about dates.

Cupid’s arrow marches only forward.

A Date in the Park is a point and click adventure game. You play as Lou, a British immigrant to Portugal who is meeting a girl for a date in the park. As Lou searches for his date in the park, he finds a series of mysteries she’s left for him, leading him to get more and more excited for their actual date and for the point when he gets to see her.

Without spoiling the ending, the plot of the game is a bit nonsensical, and requires more patience and suspension of disbelief than I was willing to give it. While one could argue that there are elements of creeping horror building throughout the game, the game’s narrative feels a bit less horrifying and bit more tedious, with the loops the lady is making Lou jump through feeling like progressively large and frustrating red flags rather than cute expressions of affection.

This becomes especially true with the game’s movement and interactions. A Date in the Park is a point and click, and so every object must be pointed and clicked. Left clicking prompts Lou to engage with the object, while right clicking prompts him to share his thoughts about the object. Progressing sometimes requires a combination of the two actions, meaning that, in addition to slow movement and slow dialogue, players experiencing the game for the first time must go through two sets of slow and banal commentary before they can move on with the story.

I should have gone with Ducky McDuckface. I am truly the greatest of fools.

Given that the mechanics are simple and straightforward, the game must rely on its story and environment to keep the player interested. The story, as I said, is a bit nonsensical, and Lou is not the most compelling of protagonists. I spent most of the game expecting this date to be an In Bruges-esque robbery of a naive tourist, and wasn’t going to be at all upset if I was right. I saw in Lou the men I taught English alongside in Korea, how they never learned a word of Korean, and yet expected the world to cater to their inability to speak or understand what was happening around them. I found Lou distasteful as a protagonist, and so, there was no compulsion on my part to see his date go well.

The game also revolves around exploring this park in Lisbon. While it’s coupled with actual photographs of the park, those photographs are not helped by being pixellated to the point of near-unrecognisability. This is less a meander through a park than it is a trudge through 90s background after 90s background, hoping I haven’t failed to click on the key item, but knowing in my heart of hearts that I almost certainly have.

Pick up Portuguese Duolingo and go, my man. Não é tão difícil

The combination of tedious point-and-click mechanics, pixellated graphics, and an unlikable protagonist make A Date in the Park an unpleasant little experience of a game. It is, however, mercifully brief, though I am left with the question of whether expanding the length and adding more might have helped create a more playable game.

Then I remember that would mean there was more of this game, and you know what? I’m good. It can stay where it is. There’s no need to add more.

Developer: Cloak And Dagger Games

Genre: Point And Click, Adventure

Year: 2014

Country: United Kingdom

Language: English

Play Time: 30-45 Minutes

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